Chapter Blue

From Addiction to Advocacy: Alan and Amy's Story

• Tyra Valeriano • Episode 12

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What happens when a law enforcement officer confronts the demons of addiction and infidelity, and emerges with a mission to transform mental health support within the force? Listen to the compelling story of Alan Hendrickson, who, alongside his wife Amy, turned personal adversity into a pillar of hope for law enforcement officers struggling with mental health challenges and addiction. Alan and Amy open up about their personal journey, highlighting the pivotal moments that sparked their dedication to mental wellness for officers and their spouses.

Amy's support through Alan's recovery offers a realistic perspective on love, strength, and the power of a strong support system. As Alan returned to his law enforcement career, he faced obstacles due to his past. He found acceptance and a second chance with an agency who acknowledged his growth in overcoming his personal challenges. Their story is a testament to the themes of redemption and how it can have a profound impact. They discuss how openness and support can overcome personal struggles and maintain a healthier home and workplace environment.

Tune in to hear about the implications of mental wellness and support systems within law enforcement. From personal experiences that cultivate trust and mentorship to the role of spouses in policing wellness, Alan and Amy's experiences emphasize a holistic approach to mental health. They share their vision of spreading their wellness course beyond their home state of Alabama, aiming to touch lives across the nation. Listen in for valuable resources and a reminder that no one on this journey is alone. Alan and Amy continue to advocate for the mental health of officers and their families with raw, authentic, and honest transparency of some of the real struggles we all can face during our career. 

Programs Mentioned: 

  1. Axonaid.com
  2. Boulder Crest Foundation 

Contact:

www.AllenHendrickson.com

LinkedIn: Allen Hendrickson

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Tyra Valeriano:

Welcome to Chapter Blue, the podcast where we discuss the world of law enforcement through an honest conversation on tough or controversial topics, real stories, perspectives and experience from officers all around the world. Whether you're here for insights on mental health, self-care, work-life balance, getting into law enforcement, getting out of law enforcement, or just trying to learn about personal and professional challenges officers face every day, you've come to the right place. I'm your host, tyra Valeriano, and whether I'm going solo or speaking with a guest, each episode will discuss different aspects of life behind the badge. Let's turn the page and step into Chapter Blue. Welcome to another episode of Chapter Blue. Today I'm speaking with Alan and Amy Hendrickson, who are husband and wife. I have worked alongside Alan as a law enforcement coach and I have seen the Hendrickson's create a remarkable resource on mental health for law enforcement by sharing their story and advocating for wellness. Alan is currently you work in Alabama, right?

Allen Hendrickson:

That's correct.

Tyra Valeriano:

Alabama. Yes, and he is currently still serving on the job. I want to welcome both of you to my show and thank you for making some time to speak with me today. If you wouldn't mind giving the listeners a little more on your background story and what you guys are doing today in mental health and wellness space.

Allen Hendrickson:

All right, so I'm Alan Hendrickson. I joined law enforcement in 2000. I went through a bumpy career from 2000 to now. In a small nutshell, I joined law enforcement at a local agency, then joined narcotics division and then kind of started spinning out of trouble into areas in my life I didn't need to be having trouble in, but at the time I didn't recognize it as trouble. I recognized it as having a good time. I began to drink a lot. Then I began to have the infidelity in the marriage as time went on. When I was able to fix that, I've been sober since August 3rd 2015, went to inpatient rehab and then when I came out of rehab, I decided I'm going to try to help people. After that, I went to peer support training and I wanted to do more. So I learned how to be a coach and then I wanted to do more, so I just kept working in that area of coaching and one day the wife and I which, because of my bad decisions, we've been married to each other three times she stayed faithful every time, but I made bad decisions.

Allen Hendrickson:

After rehab, we were talking about building a four-hour class that we want to focus on helping law enforcement officers, and then what we did is we built a four-hour class and we teach it together. We teach it it starts out about burnout recovery and how to maintain and then they helped's out there for law enforcement. We teach it together here in Alabama and we've taught at the national level. We taught at Concerns of Police Survivors National Trauma and Wellness Conference this past year. We have keynote spoken at different events.

Allen Hendrickson:

Currently our class is sponsored by Jacksonville State Center for Best Practices in Law Enforcement College in Alabama and they allow us to teach it four times across the state of Alabama to just anybody who wants to attend. It is now also written into the command college of Jacksonville State Center for Best Practices for Law Enforcement, which is a three week school they go to and you have to be a lieutenant, or higher law enforcement, which is a three-week school they go to and you have to be a lieutenant or higher. Our course is written into that. As time went on, we decided we wanted to keep doing more and we now have our own website and we continue to teach and help. Our focus is we don't want officers to go down that bad road that I went down Me.

Amy Hendrickson:

Well, I'm the fruitcake that married him three times? No, but I am. But anyways, I always say that our story is one of heartbreak, loss, addiction, infidelity, but it's also a story of faith, love and for our own redemption. And so a lot of people ask me why I would marry him three times. And you know, number one, with my faith and everything, my vows meant something to me and, yes, I had to let him go twice, because it was that or either it was just going to kill me, you know, not him kill me, but it was just the emotions and he had to learn the hard way that that's not what he needed. But if you don't have faith in somebody and if you don't have faith in your marriage, you know it's easy to let go.

Amy Hendrickson:

And divorce is just so common these days, and I always say I'm not a quitter. So, and the God's honest truth is, I've never cheated on him. So, out of those 29 years, three marriages, I've stayed faithful. So, and that's why we're here today, you know, because we got nine grandchildren, two children, and you know we just we were together with his family this weekend and we just thought about how lucky we were and how blessed we are, you know. So my goal is for the spouse, and not just the spouse. The police officer can hear my side of things and ask me questions, and I'm there to answer those, and so he asked me to support him in this, and here I am.

Tyra Valeriano:

That is awesome. Thank you, guys for sharing that, and I honestly love the dynamic of having both of you here today, because hearing the spouse side is very important, especially on subjects that Alan has shared with us. A lot of officers go through these kinds of troubles and maybe they haven't had the perspective of what kind of support the spouse can have and even the troubles that you've had, you know, having to face and deal with these things and come back and be the strength that you probably didn't realize you had. So that is, it's actually really amazing to hear your guys' story. So I do have a lot of questions coming from your guys' experience together and the law enforcement side. Alan, you said that you got into addiction. You started drinking and it was for a good time. At what point did you realize that hey, this is a problem and how did you seek out that help?

Allen Hendrickson:

When I realized it was a problem is when I had lost my job in 2015.

Amy Hendrickson:

Yeah 15.

Allen Hendrickson:

I was married to Amy and I was living with a married dispatcher at the time and I thought I'd, you know, I lost everything, my job and all, and I knew Amy wouldn't hang in there much longer. And just one day I woke up that morning I said, hey, you know what? I don't know what I'm going to do. So I said you know what? I got a problem. I decided to go to rehab. So what I've done is I reached out to a friend, made sure all my bills were paid for a month or so so that I wouldn't have those issues. Made sure they had to, you know, being able to pay them, or they would pay them and I would pay them back when I got back, whatever needed to be.

Allen Hendrickson:

And crazy part is, I drove down to the liquor store and bought a bottle of liquor my favorite liquor and I put it in the passenger seat and seat belted it in. I came over and told Amy. I said I got a problem, I'm going to get help. We talked a little bit. I talked to her and the kids then drove to Warrior, alabama, and the whole time I was looking at that bottle and said you're not going to control me, no more, and when I got there it's about a four hour ride I still had that whole bottle. They made me pour it out and I went into inpatient rehab at that point.

Tyra Valeriano:

How long were you in inpatient rehab for?

Allen Hendrickson:

15, 21 days, 21, 21. I think it was 21 days and then I did some outpatient.

Tyra Valeriano:

Okay, what was the most difficult part for you during that process?

Allen Hendrickson:

The most difficult part of inpatient rehab is they control and tell you everything to do, and for us cops that is tough. They tell you when to get up, they make you, you know, clean your room, they tell you what you're going to eat, where your freedom's at. And giving up that control and letting someone else restructure you and control you but structure you in the right way, using their control and you not having any say-so at all was the toughest part, especially as a law enforcement officer. You know we want that. We want to control what's going on. We don't want to be told 24-7 what to do, and that would be the toughest.

Tyra Valeriano:

Amy, what about for you? What was that like when he told you that he needed to get help and that he was going to do that? How did that make you feel and what were you going through?

Amy Hendrickson:

to do that. How did that make you feel and what were you going through? It's just crazy that how that happened. That day I was going to counseling at this this is the Christian counseling in our community and I had told the lady like he said he knew Amy wasn't going to hang in there much longer. And I've told the lady I was like I pray every day, just take my love away. I just don't want to love him anymore. I want to just be able to get on with my life. I wanted to get that, get that out of me or whatever. And she says would you ever feel the release in your heart? And I said no, I don't. And she said well, maybe God's not done with y'all yet. And I come home and it's just not long after I get home that he comes and tells me he's going to rehab.

Amy Hendrickson:

Of course he was still with the dispatcher at this point. They were kind of like hiding and I guess maybe from their job, but I wasn't the one that was invited in in. He didn't go to rehab to get sober for me. He did it for his job. I believe he did it for his job and tried to get his relationship with her back together.

Amy Hendrickson:

So it was difficult to tell you that it takes a year because you're the chemicals and your body is changing because now you've taken out this, this, the alcohol or drugs or whatever you're addicted to that your body's been used to. So he was told not to make any decisions. You know, don't get in a relationship for a year. So really what I became was his rock. He tells everybody I was his rock and he hit rock bottom.

Amy Hendrickson:

And guess who? He hit me because I'm on the bottom of his rock and we started. At first it was more like dating, like just talking and then dating and he'd come over and we spend time with our children and grandchildren together and then we started going on dates and then we started going out of town to fun little things we never did before when we were married and um, but the the rehab part was hard for me. But he called me every day and I don't know it was just. It happened the way it. It needed to happen, not just let's get back together today. It took us a year, two years, before we moved back in and then a few more months after that before we were remarried.

Tyra Valeriano:

So it was pretty difficult.

Amy Hendrickson:

I don't know if that answered your question, yeah. I know.

Tyra Valeriano:

I mean it's difficult on the spouse side and having to see somebody you love go through that and then feel like you are being betrayed while you're trying to let go. It's a lot of emotions, I'm sure. Alan, I know you got back into law enforcement, so how was that transition and adjustment when you decided to go back to work?

Allen Hendrickson:

When I come back to go to law enforcement. You know, if you get let go in an area because of problems, a lot of times it's hard to get on that area. I was blessed at the time that two small agencies close to here both gave me a job. I started out on one and then I went to a second one and I left the first one and I worked my way up to captain at the second one and then I actually went back to the first one, was working two of the jobs and I did that for a while. Then I ended up back at the same one where I had left for being a captain and I worked my way back up to captain, stayed there several years.

Allen Hendrickson:

I tried to go to the state of Alabama and some other bigger agencies during that two-year, three-year frame but I was rejected every time. So at some point I finally kept applying, kept applying, and the chief, chief Wilbini, where I work now at the Dothan Police Department here in Alabama, he called me one day and said Alan, you know I want to give you a chance. I know you had some problems in the past, but how long do you hold that against someone? And there was a couple of hiccups to get the job. One of the things was personnel. Because of my background didn't really want to do it. So I actually asked him could I go speak to personnel? And he said I don't care. So I went directly to the personnel director, poured out my story and said you know, you want people to get help, but if you never give them a chance, are they really going to get help? So that kind of helped there.

Allen Hendrickson:

And then again, like I said, chief Wilbany said you know, hey, we can't hold you back. You've been doing nothing but growing for eight years. How long should you be punished for your bad decisions? He put me to work. I've been there a little over two years and I've worked my way up to FTO. I'm on the negotiation team and, like I was telling you earlier, we currently travel all over Alabama and other states and do teaching and training and he allows me. One of the things that we talked about is not hiding what I went through, so I can openly talk about what I went through. I don't have to hide sobriety, I don't have to hide any problems. I talk to other officers. I don't have to hide it on social media, none of those kind of things that makes it real easy to be able to feel like myself, because I'm not having to hide from my command staff. Hey, I had a problem, they don't care, they want me to help others, they know what our mission is and they support our mission.

Amy Hendrickson:

He allows us to be transparent, so that's good, which is hard to find and achieve.

Tyra Valeriano:

Yeah, that's amazing that he gave you a chance, because many officers you know they don't have that same kind of luck of having an agency. Look past those decisions that they made in their past and you know they may have made a mistake that they have also grown from, but they're now what we call blackballed right and now they can't get hired at any agency. So that's actually really great and it's motivating hopefully to those who are listening that may be struggling with something similar that there is hope and that it's not always going to be the way that we've seen it. At least we hope that. So you guys have went on to start your own business and to teach classes. What is it that you guys are giving to law enforcement officers and agencies through this program that you've started?

Allen Hendrickson:

Well before we talk about that. One of the things that we also did is we want to bring as many avenues for assistance and help whatever you want to call it in the mental wellness area to law enforcement officers and make them aware of it. So we made sure, prior to all of this, that people knew about Axon Aid, which is a free. You can go to Axon Aid and have all kinds of things on there about getting mental wellness help and training. Another thing that we did during this process is we attended a class in Florida it's called Struggle Well, through the Boulder Crest Foundation. Are you familiar with the Boulder Crest Foundation?

Tyra Valeriano:

I am not Tell me about it.

Allen Hendrickson:

So Boulder Crest is in 19 states and it started out for military and now first responders can go and it teaches you post-traumatic growth and it's called, like I said, boldcrest foundation. Um, we went to a class in florida and I reached out to them and said hey, you know, I'd love to have this in alabama. There it costs nothing to host their class. You just haven't had to have an entity that will be the operator of the system and be the easy way to say it, in other words, jacksonville State. I reached out to them and said, hey, I'd love to have this program. I told them what it was. We all had a meeting.

Allen Hendrickson:

Jacksonville State is our hub for the training, and so what we did now is we've been able to bring Struggle Well training to all law enforcement officers in the state of Alabama through working with Jacksonville State, working with Boulder Crest, and we're currently in the process of six of us being trained as struggle well guides. So recently we did a very first struggle well class in Alabama. So now Alabama is the 19th state. So by working hard, you can bring other programs. That's what we want to show. Not only are we trying to push our program, but other good programs that are out there. We brought that program through a lot of support.

Tyra Valeriano:

That's great. I was actually going to ask you how this has manifested into the mental health and wellness side of law enforcement, because, since I've worked with you, alongside you, with law enforcement coaching, that's going to be the main aspect of why we did coaching and it's a passion that we have. There's obviously for you, a personal reason why you have taken this route, amy. For you, what is this taught you on the spouse side, now that you've taken this new project on with your husband?

Amy Hendrickson:

Well, I do think it's a little different, which I've always been. I'm not the kind of wife that gets frustrated with not him not. You know, I understand it's his job and it's the way we live. You know that's our money or whatever. But I have. I recognize um is that the word like I can recognize. I have to give you an example.

Amy Hendrickson:

Um, he was in like a high speed chase and so he, he goes and eats lunch with me and my mom's when he works, because I work close to my mother and I eat with her every day. So he, he comes in, he's telling me about this high speed chase and, um, he told me he got up to like 120, 150. And you know the wife in me is like, and that I could tell he was just like. I said, do you need to like, call somebody like? You know like a coach or mentor or something? And so I recognize those things in him.

Amy Hendrickson:

And I also know like we talk a little bit through the day. You know I don't have to be, we don't have to talk every few minutes, but if something major happens he may not can tell me the details, but he'll call me and said I've just had a DCPR on a baby and it died small baby and it died. That night I cooked him his favorite supper it was ready when he came home because I knew he's gonna be stressed and so I've just learned to um to back off, to be there when he needs me, to back off when he needs you know, he comes in and he's in his uniform he's still Officer Allen, but when he takes off that uniform then he comes by Allen, you know.

Amy Hendrickson:

So mental wellness I have seen his Allen. He's not only did a lot of the peer support and all that. Anything he can read, anything he can go to, he does it. And I have pre-rehab Allen law enforcement officer to now. The calmness in him, mental wellness, is so important and I really believe it's really important in law enforcement. I have noticed that he rarely gets in a call where he gets into a fight with someone. It gets to a point where it could go ugly because he's calm and home life is good. And he's got all this. You know compartmentalize it, I guess, and it's made a big difference on that note, which is good for me and I have learned to back off. But then he also knows when hey, I don't need to do overtime, I need to spend time with my wife tonight.

Allen Hendrickson:

And one of the things to add to that, tara, would be that, you know, during the training, if we're talking about recruitment and retention, a healthy officer is going to be happy. They're not telling people don't come to work at Dothan PD because they're mad about something that ain't got nothing to do with Dothan PD. Just today at lunch one of the local sheriffs was in the restaurant eating and he had two of his deputies with him. I'm sitting there trying to recruit his deputies while we're eating, you know, and he's like stop, you know, y'all have already got a few of mine, you're something else. And so if I'm happy, I'm going to actively recruit. But if I'm, you know, in a bad spot, then I'm going to tell don't come here because the command's this, the pay's this, when it has nothing to do with that. On a deeper effect of mental wellness, if I'm a field training officer, like I am now, if I'm in there and I'm all ill with that brand new person because I'm having an affair and I'm high or my finances are wrecked and I'm just upset with that stuff, I'm pushing that off on that new recruit which is now going to hurt them If I pull this person over for speeding and they go all off on me and I've got a bad attitude because of personal things. I'm going to go all off Again. And I've got a bad attitude because of personal things, I'm going to go all off Again.

Allen Hendrickson:

I had the other day I had someone pull him over. He was going just all the way off. As I'm going back to my car he said hey, by the way, I didn't have my seatbelt on either. I'm like all right, so I go back there and I write him his warnings and I come back and he just could not believe he got warnings. I mean, he was just as ugly as he could be. But guess what, like I told him, he does not dictate whether or not I'm going to write a ticket. He does not dictate my attitude. I'm sorry you're having a bad day but you're not going to change mine. But back in the day I'd have been like here's you some tickets, here's you know so it all changes.

Tyra Valeriano:

Yeah, you know that's actually a conversation that I had with someone else not too long ago is that you, an agency, really shouldn't have any issues with recruiting when the cup is overflowing from the inside, so when you're taking care of your people and you have the resources that they need to be successful, to be happy to even down to having resources for mental health, because a lot of the troubles that people are facing are around wellness and it doesn't necessarily have to be, you know, a stress related call or something that they responded to. It can be home life, it can be finances, it can be all of the things that are not work related, but there's no resources out there. So if the cup is not full and overflowing, just like you said, it's going to be in the opposite direction you still full and overflowing, but with negativity, and that'll just seep on into the new recruits and that just aura or that vibe, just continues on within the agency and it's really hard to reverse that once it started.

Allen Hendrickson:

I feel like we have a good healthy department. I feel like our command pushes wellness. We're 217 is what we allotted for and we just got some of those slots allotted to us back in October and we're down less than 10 people and we have no full-time recruiter.

Allen Hendrickson:

Wow, that's great, we have a recruitment group that goes around sometimes but we have nobody. That is solely what they do, and we're only down, like I said, less than 10. But October 1, they gave us five or six slots, I think it was, so that made us be a little shorter. So, even at 217, to be 10 or less, and since I've been there we've kind of stayed 10 or less. You've got some that make decisions. They have to go, so that number is going to float soon. So, again, to be as big as we are and no recruiter, full-time recruiter, it speaks volume for the agency itself and the leadership.

Tyra Valeriano:

Yeah, that's great. So I have a question. Now that you're an FTO, I'm sure you share your story with new recruits. You probably tell them I can only assume that maybe you tell them you know, don't go down the bad path, Don't do this, Don't do that. This is what could result from those decisions. What is their reaction to some of the suggestions or guidance that you give them based on your story?

Allen Hendrickson:

So what? I open up with my new ones that they give me. It's just like when I an example, when I was captain, when I brought someone in to hire them, I went ahead and told them my whole backstory. That way they couldn't go over here to this agency and say, hey, yeah, I talked to Captain Henderson. Let me tell you what Captain Henderson done before. Well, wait a minute, that ain't what he said. You left this out.

Allen Hendrickson:

So I go ahead and nip all that in the bud so they know everything about my background. And then, as I'm coaching them to become an officer, as I see things, I coach them and I ask questions. So I don't really get on to them. I'm more of okay, I know that's a problem, so I'm going to coach them out of it. I'm going to dive into it and mentor them in a better direction. It also gets them to be very open with me when I'm training, and so we are able to have a better relationship. One of the things that we've been doing is I go to Amy's mom's to eat lunch, so the new recruit gets the option of going there or we'll go out to eat. So far they've all wanted to go there. So that opens it up more, because most FTOs ain't going to take people to their family's house and have lunch. That gives us a few more minutes to bond from the day, talk about the day outside, not be in the car, and then we go back and complete our assignment. You know our shift.

Tyra Valeriano:

Now that you're pretty much into this wellness space with Alan on the spouse side, what are you doing? Do you do anything with other spouses? Or maybe if officers might come to you guys with some issues for marital problems or maybe even drinking problems, any problem that they may have how is it that you step in for the spouse side?

Amy Hendrickson:

I haven't had very many to come to me, but we are going to develop. I am going to develop a program that will run with our other ones. That would be just for spouses. So we were at the COPS what would you call that thing? We were at.

Allen Hendrickson:

We did two classes at the COPS the Concerns of Police Survival National Trauma and Wellness Conference in Orlando last year In August we did two classes at the cops the concerns of police of our national trauma and wellness conference in.

Amy Hendrickson:

Orlando last year In August.

Allen Hendrickson:

And so Breakout session.

Amy Hendrickson:

We had done a breakout session and Not that day but like the next day, we were at this, this large party, this, the last party of the night or whatever, and it was like Dinner and all that stuff. And this, this young couple comes up and she wants to talk to me. She takes me off to the side and, um, I just I just listen and then I give the best advice that I can for whatever situation and then, if I have to, if it's something that I can truly relate to that happened to me, I will give examples of what you know and I'll tell them. You know, here's my phone number. Call me if you want to. We haven't heard from that little couple because the guy took him off to the side.

Amy Hendrickson:

But in class I get asked a lot. In class I get asked a lot when I was coaching. More often I haven't got any spouses in the coaching, it's always been officers. One of them asked me how much should I tell my spouse? That's what he wanted to know. I said that's a conversation y'all need to have. I said me and Alan knows what he can tell me. I love true crime and stuff said that's a conversation y'all need to have. I said me and Alan knows what he can tell me um, which I'm. I love true crime and stuff like that, so nothing really grosses me out. I'm pretty open but, um, and I know when to worry about him, when not to. But I'm also been, we've been doing this for 25 years, so you know, um, but I'm open to talking to spouses and being there for a man, woman, whatever, husband, wife.

Allen Hendrickson:

So after that what she was talking about there that day. That night the husband pulled me out and she went out with the spouse and we spent about an hour with each one of them.

Amy Hendrickson:

They were really young.

Allen Hendrickson:

Really young. They had attended our class the day before. They were scheduled to go somewhere else a different class after our class, but instead we found out during our conversation they chose to go back to their room and talk about. They spent the rest of the day in their room talking about our class, how they related and how they can work on things, and then the next night you know, they just happened to come up to us and we spend about an hour with them At the end of every class.

Allen Hendrickson:

What we do is we make sure they have my information as well as Amy's, and they feel free to call us and there's no questions asked. We're not even going to ask you where you're at. You call and say hey, I was in one of your classes, I need to talk to you. Okay, what do you need to talk about? We're not asking what agency you're at, what part of the state you're in or what state. We don't care. If you want to tell us that part, then you can. So we make sure it's available for that and I think that's where we're headed. And, like Amy said, she's working on a two-hour class for spouses only, where she's going to teach about how to, you know, wind down when I came home, and when I tell her there was a problem at work, she sets the house to make me feel comfortable because she knows I had a bad day. So when I come in I'm now getting comfortable and then we talk a little. So those are the kind of things we're teaching in the class.

Amy Hendrickson:

You have to learn and it comes with time. Young couples don't really understand, but you have to learn when not to push them and like. One very important thing is try not to call them during their shift and argue with them, because you know I could get off that phone with him fussing him out about something and he could have a wreck or shoot out or you know, you just never know. So you want to keep their mind calm down there 12 hours because he sees things that during his work hour I don't see Deals with people that are very volatile. You know that. I don't know. I'm in property management, so sometimes our tenants are volatile.

Amy Hendrickson:

But the thing about this mental wellness is when Alan first got into law enforcement, maybe even five years ago, I would say it wasn't cool to have mental problems or talk about your marriage problems or your drinking problems. And if you did, you felt like you were going to get dinged or talked about really bad in the department dinged or talked about really bad in the department. And I just think it's really important that, if you know, we want these officers to go out and do their job and do it well and not have like a George Floyd or remake or whatever. So we need their mental wellness, and their mental health is very important. I'm glad you touched on that?

Tyra Valeriano:

Yeah, I'm glad you touched on that because I feel that there are a lot of spouses who still may not understand that concept and, you know, maybe they see on the news that there was an officer who died in the line of duty. They had a wife, they had a child, feel a certain way and be like, oh you know, I need to take this into consideration. But at what point in his career did you realize, hey, I don't need to do this because there is a reality there that something could go wrong? And when did you realize that you could just give him the peace when he's at work and not give him a hard time, and know that that was going to help him?

Amy Hendrickson:

Yeah, I think, like coming into the marriage again, like I said, with growth, you know, because I feel like I'm married to somebody totally different this time. I mean it's just crazy, it's just different person. Before mental health reading all that stuff, no, but I think like when, maybe when we first started talking again and then got you know, when we first got married, I would call and if I was fussy with him I could tell you know how it bothered him and so it just cuts with growth too. They just know that this is an important job.

Amy Hendrickson:

And then when the um, a lot of it just made me so angry when the world's decided to turn against law enforcement officers, you know, and I don't think, um, a lot of people realize what they face. I mean, you go how scary it is to pull over a car and and walk up to it. You know, um, we were going to one of our friends, uh, had a tragic accident. His brother had a tragic accident and we were trying to get to. He was an officer, uh, friend of Allen's. We was trying to get to him and, uh, we got pulled over and when the officer come up to the side I could tell you was scared. He came up to my side not alan's and you don't know what you're gonna face in that car, what's gonna you know? So I guess, just seeing the world turn against police officers and just knowing that my attitude affects his attitude, and it just took growth.

Allen Hendrickson:

And I would add to that, tara, that I think some of that is like she spoke on earlier when you start having these big incidents and you start seeing the turn and you start thinking you know what, you know what if that officer that was involved in whatever that big incident is because if I'm not there I'm not going to, you know, I'm not going to quarterback it. So if you have a big incident and then you start wondering, hey, what mindset was that officer in? Was they mad at home? Was that why they were stressed? And I think we start talking about things like that and could that affect somebody's use of force? And 100% it can. So that's when we kind of started working on that and integrating it because we can show with data that using like a coaching program, a good mental wellness program, not only recruitment retention use of force is down, sick time is down, people are using their vacations. So all of it compiled together is supported by true data.

Allen Hendrickson:

And a part of that that can be showed is you know you take someone, that you take a squad and you have three officers on that squad that seem to have a lot of taser deployments and then you got a couple that's not had any in two years. That's been in the same kind of calls. Why is that? This group has got taser deployments, this group don't. If you take a deep dive, this group just really using the taser deployments over here. They're not de-escalating, they're not trying to. They're they're letting off stress and anger a lot of times and if you deep dive into their personal life, it is a uh, you know it's a wreck usually. So when you got a high usage of sick time it's all data driven.

Tyra Valeriano:

So that actually brings. It kind of sheds light on the importance of spouses being involved in wellness training too, because it's not very common that you hear about a profession or a job where the spouse should be included in any type of training when they're not the employee right right. But in this situation that you guys are describing, it actually shows why it's important that maybe police spouses or first responder spouses should be involved in some kind of training, because it does matter. And you know, I know when I started my relationship with my husband, he didn't really understand the concept of you don't know the stress that I go through at work. So please don't argue with me during my shift or before I go to work, because it sets my day for a 12 hour shift. And there's probably a lot of spouses out there that feel the same. They just don't understand.

Allen Hendrickson:

And speaking of spouses, one thing we are blessed with the four hour course that we put on all over Alabama and anywhere else. Spouses are always invited. They can come Well, are you guys?

Tyra Valeriano:

are you guys looking at doing stuff outside of Alabama?

Allen Hendrickson:

We are currently in talking with different agencies, some in Georgia, florida and Texas. What they're doing is looking at we've given some quotes on what it would cost for it to come out. We keep our costs where it's not killing an agency to bring us out and basically they bring us out and we open the floor If they pay the fee and they want to open it up to other agencies, they can. So we have been contacted by other states. We're just waiting to see as far as price, because when you start talking you know to go to Texas or go to California, you know we got to fly so we got to pay for all that, but we keep it relatively. I call it very cost efficient and so we are looking at other states. Currently it's just waiting to see if they can do budget approvals and things like that.

Amy Hendrickson:

I could get an RV.

Allen Hendrickson:

I'm not riding around with you all day in an RV. I done told her she's better at it, right, because I'm not marrying around with you all day in the RV. I done told her she's better at rock because I'm not marrying her four times.

Amy Hendrickson:

Look, I have a philosophy. When it comes to us, it's three strikes, you're out, or three times the charm.

Tyra Valeriano:

So there you go, alan. I wanted to go back to the addiction side of things. For officers who may be struggling with any type of addiction, how is your journey now? Is it something that is still a struggle? Is it something that you still have to remind yourself of what you've been through and to not go that route again? Have you experienced that at all now that you've been in recovery?

Allen Hendrickson:

No, I haven't had any issues with it.

Amy Hendrickson:

He's a champ when it comes to this.

Allen Hendrickson:

I guess the problem is I just set my mind on it and I didn't do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going back down that road. It's not destroying me again and I'm helping not to and I'm not going to. There is times that we go and we may have to attend a birthday party and there's alcohol. Or in some of our prior business engagements we sponsored the, not out for the alcohol, you know the, whatever you want to call it different at the conference you know when you have your hospitality night, and there was one not long ago where we sponsored the hospitality night and myself and another recovering alcoholic were actually the ones pouring alcohol for them.

Allen Hendrickson:

So another recovering alcoholic were actually the ones pouring alcohol for him.

Amy Hendrickson:

So you know, we don't have a problem with it.

Allen Hendrickson:

Again, one is. I just had to set the mind that it is everywhere. The first thing you do when you go to a restaurant. They say, hey, the drink of the day is this, and I'm like I don't drink, so anyway, and I don't drink.

Amy Hendrickson:

So again.

Allen Hendrickson:

we just set that tone and then I talk to people about it because you know you don't have to have there's so many addictions out there. When you start talking about addictions and to help people with it, how do you get away from it? A lot of times, you know. That's why we named our class Break the Cycle. We go back to what we know, whether it's alcohol, it's porn, it's infidelity, whatever it is that we've seen as a child, we go to it as an adult and that's why we named it Break the Cycle. My family was all kinds of into drugs, infidelity, things like that. Amy's family didn't. They went to church. So we take the two sides and put them together and show you the difference. You know, I went to what I knew, which was the infidelity of alcohol. She went to what she knows, which is the Bible and God, and she would her faith.

Tyra Valeriano:

So we take all that time together in a class, even when you're talking about addictions. That's great. We are running out of time. But I have a question that I'm sure you may know or not know, and it is what you would tell your rookie self, based on the experience that you've had in law enforcement.

Allen Hendrickson:

I would tell my rookie self to really make sure I had a focus on mental wellness. We do so much training everywhere else but we do very little mental wellness. We can run 10 miles, but if our brain ain't functioning right and fueled right, it's not going to work. Good it's, you know, we might can run that 10 miles, but all these other decisions are problems. So I would tell myself to focus on mental wellness.

Tyra Valeriano:

That's good, Amy. I don't normally have a spouse on my show, but because you are here, I would like your input on what kind of advice would you like to give to the listeners if their spouse is out there listening today?

Amy Hendrickson:

Basically, just listen to your spouse, your law enforcement officer. You have the conversation about how much you want to be included. I think him being able to talk to me about things that weigh heavy on his mind, about a call or whatever, um, and being able to trust that it stays between us and I don't go run my mouth um, so giving you know, getting somebody that they can trust, because it's hard for for them to trust because they see so so much in the world. You know what I'm saying. So we need to be the person that and it's a lot on a on a spouse it is you take a lot in, but, um, I think it's, it's worth it in the long run. It is for me. But I would just say just listen, be somebody they can trust. Um, if the weather's bad and they have to stay out all night, put your big girl panties on and just, you know, get your flashlight. Don't, don't stress them out and make them worry that you, you know, don't call them crying. I'm scared, call mama.

Tyra Valeriano:

Well, that's great advice.

Allen Hendrickson:

Thank you for that.

Tyra Valeriano:

I know you guys have a website up and running now. Would you guys mind sharing that with the listeners in case they want to check out what you guys are up to?

Allen Hendrickson:

It's alanhendricksoncom. All one word.

Tyra Valeriano:

He didn't put my name in it so can they sign up with you or contact you via email on your website?

Allen Hendrickson:

Yes, the website has different sections that you can go to. You can see the events we're doing. You can book an appointment with us. We are now rolling out some online classes and coming in the near future there will be different tabs. Currently, the tabs that are in works that will be up and running soon are resource tab, where you'll be able to go to and find different resources. There is a speaker tab coming. There is a podcast tab coming where we will share certain people's podcasts in there. So those kind of things are coming. Right now, the event tab is active. The book online is active. The event is active and the others are currently being fixed. You know, constructed.

Amy Hendrickson:

He's playing with it. Still, my information will be on the website as well, and I welcome any spouse or officer that has a question. You know that they may want to ask me.

Tyra Valeriano:

Sounds good. Thank you, amy, and thank you, alan for joining me today. I appreciate your guys' insight for sharing your story, for being so open and giving your advice to listeners, officers, first responders. I think your message is really important and, like I said at the beginning, mental health and wellness is something that I know we both share in common and I think it's an important wall to break down. It's going to take a lot more effort as we continue forward. It's been a journey, I'm sure, for both of us, but I appreciate your guys' work and effort so far and I really look forward to seeing what you guys have in store for 2025.

Tyra Valeriano:

For the listeners that are listening today, thank you for joining and we will see you on the next one. Thank you for joining me on Chapter Blue. If you enjoyed today's episode, be sure to follow and tag me on social media and share with your friends and fellow officers. If you're interested in joining an episode, I'd love for you to be a part of the conversation. Until next time, stay safe, take care of yourself and remember you're never alone in this journey.