Family First Leadership with Greg Furnia

If you’ve ever loved the job but hated what it turns you into after shift, this conversation is for you. I’m joined by Greg Furnia, a retired U.S. Border Patrol veteran and former leader in the National Canine Program, to talk about what actually keeps a long law enforcement career from wrecking your health, your mindset, and your family.

Greg talks about his path from the early days in Arizona to major roles connected to El Paso, Washington, D.C., and the advanced training world. We discuss the Border Patrol K9 culture. He describes it as “family first” and why that mentality isn’t soft, it’s operational. When leaders create space for home life and recovery while still holding a high standard, morale improves, teamwork improves, and people stay mission-ready without becoming bitter or numb.

We also get real about what happens when administration shifts, the rules change, and your hands feel tied. Greg shares how bad leadership and poor communication can breed stress, anxiety, and complacency, plus the practical mindset shift he calls a leadership toolbox: learn from the best and also learn from the worst. From there we talk coaching for first responders, peer support trust issues, and why an independent outside coach can feel safer for some officers, agents, and even spouses who carry the weight too. Greg’s closing message is simple and sharp: define your values and let them guide your decisions when the job gets messy.

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Website: https://livingthegoodlifecoach.com/

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Transcript

Welcome And Greg’s Career Path

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, everyone. I want to welcome you back to another episode of Chapter Blue. Today's guest is out of Florida. Thank you, Greg, for joining me today.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Yeah, thank you.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

You and I share a lot in common in how we have decided to pursue our law enforcement careers after law enforcement. Uh, one major difference is that you served in the Border Patrol and I did not. So I would really like for you to tell us about your background in law enforcement and what you're doing today.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Sure. Um well, I'll start off with my background. I I began the Border Patrol. Um, well, I served about 25, just under 26 years in the United States Border Patrol. Um, started out in a in a small town of Wilcox, Arizona, and slowly throughout my career bounced around to a number of different areas, uh including the North Country way up north and uh Vermont, New York, uh bounced back down into El Paso, Texas for a little while, and ended up in Washington, D.C. And then finally over at Harper's Ferry, West Virginia at our advanced training center. Um the Border Patrol provided myself and my family with um a tremendous amount of uh experiences um that I would never uh never take back. They it was it was a great career. Um and it's changed significantly over the years, but it just a great career. It it's a career that um I can look back on now um and learn from all of the individuals that I worked with, be able to grab a little bit of their experiences, good or bad, um leadership, good or bad, and take those experiences. And now that I'm retired, take that into my new career, which is being able to give back to the law enforcement community um and first responders in general, um, and be able to share those experiences and some of the wisdom, I will say, that uh I wish I had had, maybe starting my career or during a transitional period in my career, whether it be going on a detail, having to be away from family, um, dealing with leadership, um, dealing with administrative changes, um just transitions in general. Um, and that's brought me into where I am right now. I I I chased um after retirement, I started up, my wife and I started up a company, um, Living the Good Life Coach. And basically, my goal is just to give back to first responders in general, um, and be able to share that wisdom and be able to hopefully bridge those gaps. That um just the life experiences that we go through in in the career and certainly the ones that are not expected. We always have that vision of um this is how it's going to go, and you know, it's it's the perfect picture. And then all of a sudden there's something that just pops up, and man, this isn't what I planned, or now we have to take a turn in a different direction to get to where we are, and sometimes we become overwhelmed with that. Um, so my goal is tired to be able today is to take those experiences and be able to use those for our first responders and LEOs out there to hopefully help them uh get through those bumps in the road, I'll call them.

El Paso And The Canine Track

SPEAKER_00 3:48

I agree. We have a lot in common. Um, we talked a little bit before we jumped on the podcast, and you said you served a large part of your career in El Paso. And for everybody that knows me and my listeners and my family, we I grew up in El Paso. So I definitely know that is a Border Patrol hotspot. I have a lot of friends that are in Border Patrol. Um, but what's a little bit about what you did in the 21 years that you were in El Paso? What was your career like there? Uh, what did you experience and what did you learn from that time?

SPEAKER_01 4:22

So my combined time in El Paso was quite a bit. I would say over the 21 years I was within the canine program, the United States Border Patrol Canine program. So I didn't spend, I wasn't assigned in El Paso for 21 years, but I was connected to El Paso for those 21 years of being involved in the national um the canine facility, which is what it was called at the at the beginning, and then went to canine center El Paso, and now it's back to the uh Border Patrol facility, canine facility. Um so I started out as a as a canine handler uh in El Paso or in uh Wilcox, Arizona, and was in El Paso, uh the uh Air Force Bay or the Army Air Base there, and started my training there. Um and I slowly moved through the the canine into the instructor role, uh, went into going back into El Paso to teach the curriculum and be a course development instructor. Um then I took a position um in one of our sectors as being a canine coordinator, which you know held the position of taking care of the canine teams and the program management. And ultimately um I ended up in DC as our um assistant chief of the National Canine Program, which was in charge of um the program management of the entire Border Patrol Canine program, which I'm very proud of. Uh to be able to be a part of that and be part of that team was um it was amazing. It was it's an amazing career to be able to be associated with all those canine teams out there and um what they're doing on a on a daily basis um and the jobs

Family First Culture In K9

SPEAKER_01 6:17

that they're doing. But it was it was a family. Um and I will say it's the I use in all of my communications the term family first. And early in my career, I was introduced to that term within the canine program. Um the founders of the Border Patrol Canine Program ran things completely different than what I was used to seeing um in the in the field. And when we went there for the initial training to be a handler, they focused on you taking care of yourself and keeping a family first attitude, and they prioritized family first. So I've taken that um all the way through my my life, through my leadership, um, you know, all of the positions that I've held. And I've I've I've I've held on to that because I found that that spoke to a lot of our LEOs, specifically the K9 teams. Um prioritizing self and family. It was great. I mean, to be there, if they would say if you have something and you can do it, if you have a family event, get to the family event. You're still gonna do your time. We still require you to, you know, work your butt off, but we're gonna make the time for you to be able to be with your family. And that I think that will speak to kind of maybe some of the things we talk about.

SPEAKER_00 7:49

Yeah, that's I mean, to be fair, it's very different than law enforcement on the patrol side. I mean, that's not something that agencies prioritize, and I think that is exactly why I am doing what I'm doing now. And there is a large group of people who are what I call this space that are trying to make changes so that that can be at the forefront and people can have a career like you just described. I mean, it sounds like a fabulous career. I would spend 30 years, you know, I would probably would have stayed longer, just going based off of what you said. But the fact that they prioritize family first, that's huge. And I do know that there are law enforcement agencies that are out there who do prioritize families. So I'm not taking away from them. Uh, but when we talk about the majority of first responders, that's not really what the case is. So I think you have a lot of insight that you can probably share on your experience on how it benefited you having that with your agency and then putting that first, putting you first, and how that affected you in a positive way. Um I am curious. So I used to work at Sunlin Park PDE for a year. So I'm pretty sure you're familiar. I worked there for a year. I went I worked there actually when it was um going through some very turbulent times with the chief of police, and we worked pretty close with Border Patrol. I took uh a course on the quad with them. It was actually a really hard course, by the way. The Border Patrol Quad course is really hard, but it was a lot of fun. Um, but you know, I I got to get to know some of the guys a little better and and get to see what they did. Um, I met with some of the canine people. So, what was your experience like, you know, working with canine and what your job was? How did it affect you? Is there any negatives that you have? What are the positives? I mean, I want to hear all about it because it's very different than what we're used to.

SPEAKER_01 9:44

Yeah, the the canine community uh within the Border Patrol, I'll speak specifically to the Border Patrol, is um it's a family. It's a great big family. And and I'll I I believe that all stems from the foundation of the individuals like myself who had the opportunity to work with uh I'll call them the founding fathers of the of the Border Patrol Canine program, and who in you know who implemented that family first, you know, thought process of bringing that in. And I know it resonated with the majority of us because we we continued as we became instructors, and most of us came back and worked at the facility, whether it was a detail or working, whatever it may be, we always brought that back and we continued to implement that taking care of your family, taking care of yourself. And you know, we think of the of the traditional family picture of mom, dad, sister, brother, you know, the immediate. But then you break that into a the larger group of the the whole canine family. I mean, we had almost 900 teams when I when I left the patrol, and we were all pretty much with the same mindset. We all had the same foresight as to how to take care of ourselves and to and to move forward. Not saying that we're all perfect, but it was it is a huge family, and I think that lends to the productiveness of the team. I think it the leadership of the team, everyone for the most part bought on to the mission, and and I think that improved how we went out, how we acted, how we took care of each other, how the team leaders took care of their individual groups, how the instructors, and and it just slowly worked its way up to you know a pretty gosh darn effective team nationally. I mean, we the world's the largest canine program in the country. So that's amazing, very successful, yeah.

Administration Changes And Morale Hits

SPEAKER_00 12:03

So I know we uh talked a little bit about administration and leadership and how that affects what you guys do. Obviously, it affects law enforcement too on my side of things. Um, but I was curious to ask you, uh, I do have friends that are in Border Patrol. You were in the canine unit. You're speaking very high volumes of your guys' group and how it functioned. Um, I had friends in Border Patrol that said, you know, with the administration that was in place, it really affected their mental, you know, their mental ability to want to be able to do the job. They were suffering. I mean, they were down, they were worked out. I mean, they were tired, burnt out. Um, they weren't able to do their job. I know I had a couple of friends who said, you know, I joined this for a job description that I am not doing, and I'm doing something that is completely opposite of what I vowed to do. And it caused a lot of, you know, a lot of hurt feelings and a lot of emotions that they probably weren't expecting. And it's just like you said, there's parts of the career where you are not expecting things to happen and there's these curves, and how do you work through that? So, with your um, I guess you can call it department with canine and being in charge of such a large group, how did this affect, how did administration negatively affect that group, or did it not? How did you guys deal with that?

SPEAKER_01 13:32

There's there's no doubt that the you know, your different administrations through you know being there for 25 years, um, obviously worked through a a number of different administrations. And you there are times you feel helpless. There are just times that listen, this is what I signed up to do. This is where I held my hand up and made my oath. These are the laws that are on the books, these are the laws that I, you know, took an oath to follow, right? To enforce. And not to get into politics, because that's not one of the things that I really like to dwell on, um, because I really believe that at the end of the day, we are in control of our own future, right? We make our own decisions as to how do we move forward. And but there is a significant impact via administrations, whichever administration that you're under. And I empathize with the agents that uh are out there during these the changes of the administrations and understanding that it's a it's it's it's a helpless feeling to be able to you go into your muster, you get, you know, you you get your day going, and day after day after day, you might be be beaten down by the media, you might be beaten down by whatever external source that you're connected to, uh, but you still know that you have to go out and do a job. And when there's certain uh bumps in the roads that keep you from doing those and you're passionate about it, it can it can take the wind out of your sails pretty quick, and it also can breed being complacent. It takes a standard of an agent and it it makes that minimum standard almost acceptable. Where you go in and I'm just gonna wait to see what happens. My hands are tied, I've been beaten down so much. Um I just don't know what else to do. You you have that feeling. I don't know where else to go. I mean, I'm being I'm supposed to be going out and do this, but I can't. You know it how it impacted my teams when I was a leader is you just had to do the best you can with what you have and still make an impact to the best of your ability. And those that goes back to the choices that you know I was saying. And and you can call this corny and rah-rah or however you want to say it, but it's self it it's self-preservation. You need to have something to strive for on a daily basis. You have to have a goal, and whether those goals align with the current administration, if they don't, you have to find other goals that align with your values and where you want to be. And at the end of the day, go home happy to your family instead of bringing all of this anger and you know, everything that's breeding within that work environment. You just got to find a goal for yourself to achieve and and be able to work towards that because I can tell you from experience times change and your your leaders are going to change. And there are going to be great years where you can go out and man, uh everything's cut loose, and you are just said, go do your job, enforce the laws, and do what you're supposed to do. And then the morale flourishes again. It's during those times in between that you have to be able to be really focused on yourself and family in order to be able to be, you know, to get that that job satisfaction. Or you have to make a tough decision. And sometimes that tough decision is to say, does this align with me anymore? Is this really being so toxic where I just need to make a bigger change, a bigger change? And that that's those are difficult decisions.

SPEAKER_00 17:46

Yeah.

Learning From Bad Leaders

SPEAKER_00 17:47

I want to go back to you being a leader. Um, obviously, you had leaders too. Was there any leaders that you had that weren't so good? And that maybe gave you an idea of what you did not want to be as a leader.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

So yeah, early in my career, I would dwell on leadership that I deemed not good. And then throughout time, I had mentors, one mentor in particular, early in my career, that told me that we carry around this toolbox, prepared toolbox, right? And he said, You're gonna have great agents that you work alongside, and you're gonna have crappy agents that you work alongside. You can learn from both of them. Take what you don't want to be and put that in a different drawer, right? This is the hell no, I don't want to be like this person, and remember that. So when you have an opportunity going into the leadership aspect, it's the same thing. You have a good supervisor, you have bad supervisors. Unfortunately, you may not be able to change whether you can work underneath that bad supervisor to be able to go into a different unit or whatever. So your road may be you know straight down and you may have to follow that path for a little while. But what I've learned is yes, I have worked under leadership that I would qualify as not the type of leader that I want to be. So I try to take those leadership qualities that that individual had that I didn't agree with, that didn't, you know, align with my values, and say, I don't want it to be that. And put those in that little toolbox of when I get the opportunity to be in that person's shoes, this is what I'm gonna reflect on. I don't want to be this way. I saw how it impacted my fellow agents, I saw how it impacted my fellow officers, I saw how the morale went to the tank. I you know, you see the direct impacts that it has on you, and you just remember that. And that's the best I learned that that was the best that I could do in a crappy managerial situation is learn from that individual and just take those things that I don't want to be and you know, put them in into my future and how it impacts me of being a leader.

SPEAKER_00 20:29

So you did mention how you know you saw morale take a dip, especially when there's bad leadership. And this is something that a lot of my law enforcement guests talk about is leadership. Leadership weighs very heavy on how an agency or a group is going to function. Um, not everybody agrees that it's solely leadership, but I am going to say that majority of them have said that it's leadership. And when you mention how that affects, you know, the people who are work working under these leaders, um, what what did you see out in the field? How did that affect them? And what struggles did you have? How did you deal with those, with those struggles?

SPEAKER_01 21:12

I think what you see the most is the complacency. Um, you have leaders that you don't want to work for, which then creates what I've seen people go off on their own. They start each individual starts doing their own thing. You don't have a leader, and it's really a lack of communication. Um, and and I think sometimes I'll I'll say lessons learned on my part. Maybe something I'll you know share here is I made mistakes thinking that there were some leaders that were poor leaders. And I'll take the blame that those leaders weren't some of them were. weren't so bad once I started to ask questions of them as to why they were leading the way they were doing or why they were doing what they were doing. And I learned from asking those questions and being in leadership roles that those leaders are taking directives from other individuals. And finding out that they didn't really understand really what the mission was or that it conflicted with the way that they wanted to be running things. So therefore it seemed like they didn't care or their leadership skills were not good. When in fact I learned a little bit more about that individual where their hands were tied. And it really wasn't a direct reflection of that individual as a leader. It was more of a direct reflection of this is coming that that the problem is higher. And it's just you know slowly making its way down through the ranks. And if you look at that the more I since I've been retired and have more time to understand leadership and just dive into the leadership um you know the books and the education process and and understanding some of the the really great leaders of our country and military leaders, you understand that it's communication and it's investing in our own people. And because I didn't ask questions I kind of assumed that that leader was a poor leader not understanding really where the where it was coming from. Maybe it was the top down maybe they were a terrible leader. And some of them as we all been through some people get put in leadership positions that should not be leaders. Maybe they're just reassigned to get them out of a different area. And there are those leaders that you got that someone didn't want to deal with which is a sign of poor leadership. Not making the tough decisions. So I don't know if I answer your question.

Stress, Anxiety, And Hard Choices

SPEAKER_01 24:15

I try to keep an more of an open mind and if I were working with some of your like the viewership here communication is vital and asking questions may open up a whole new perspective as to why things are happening and maybe even ideas as to how to work with that leader to at least affect a change in your level where you don't have to go to work and be miserable every day where you don't have to go to work and I'll share an example without names or locations I had a point in my career that I was stressed so much about going to work that I would the anxiety was so high that I it felt like I was having a heart attack every day I went into into work because I could not work with this specific leader. It was and and I don't know if anybody else can you know can relate to this but it was it was miserable it just worked up to the point of my God from the time I got out of bed to the time I you know driving into work I was thinking what is going to be the conflict today or what are we going to what is the issue it just was I got through that and I ended up making a choice um and the choice was I went elsewhere. I I ended up in a I I ended up picking up a different position and removed myself from that environment. That was my choice at the time um hindsight looking back I might have been able to approach that a little bit differently had I had somebody with the experience to be able to speak with the leader or to be able to how to approach that I may have approached that a little differently but my at my at the time and my wife and I our children we said all right we're making it this is the decision but I think that's how it impacts going into the impact of of of the actual boots on the ground um it's the stress it's the anxiety and it's there's ways around that and to not carry that home every day and it's it's just not fun to hit your job, right? Nobody wants to hit your job, especially when you had so much passion when you entered into the position and you're you know you're go getter and then just seems like sometimes it's just this little ice pick and it's just slowly picking away at you of all of that just full of energy in life to be able to go do the job and then you just slowly being knocked down a peg until the standard is I'm just going to come to work I'm going to get my 10 hour shift done and then I'm going to go home. But then you go home with all that baggage.

SPEAKER_00 27:17

Yeah. You know I agree with so many things that you said um first I can put myself in both perspectives that you that you mentioned. So I understand the supervisor perspective and not being able to really communicate certain things with my shift and you know them wanting answers that I cannot give them or maybe even the clarity be given to me is not clear. So I can't give you this information because if I do this is going to be construed and it may not be correct. And it puts you in a really awkward position and it does it makes it makes your troops miserable because they feel like you are not informing them that you are not giving them the information they want. However I've also been on the other side where you know I felt that way about my leaders and um once I had that understanding it's like I wanted to give that transparency hey let me explain to you why I can't tell you this and it's not that I'm hiding from you. It's just when you're on this end you understand that there's legality issues there's so much more than just you as a person you're dealing with a whole bunch of people plus the city plus the name of the agency. I mean there's just so much more to it and you're right I've I've seen I've had people who worked underneath me a couple people that were probably miserable with me. They didn't like me as a leader and you know they were miserable and they probably felt like I was just a terrible leader but the communication was not very good either. You know on that officer's behalf it's like they're not communicating with me but yet they come in and they're saying I'm just getting in trouble for everything. She's after me. But really where's the communication? You got to ask questions why are you doing this? Why are you looking into this? What's going on? I need to know because that communication even on my part probably could have been better and maybe that situation could have been resolved differently but I agree with that 100%.

Coaching First Responders Before Crisis

SPEAKER_00 29:15

And that brings me into what you are doing now as a business. So you are a coach and I'm also a coach and law enforcement in general I mean Border Patrol falls under law enforcement who do you speak to the most do you speak to border patrol agents for the most part as clients do you have other officers that are coming from agencies to talk to you what is your um clientele like well right now I'm building i i'm I'm I'm I work with border patrol agents um I I work I have clients that are um spouses of law enforcement agents um to work with on the family aspect because I think that's that is huge.

SPEAKER_01 30:04

Nurses admit I'm I'm really my goal and my mission is to be able to provide whatever resource that I can as a preventative measure before any of our agents officers nurses whatever it may be whatever profession you are in because they're all they're all related and it's all about people right it's all about communication and we all have it within the LEO and the first responder community have those pressures the idea is to just interact with as many officers and agents and and and professionals that I can to share the wisdom my mistakes and my leadership skills to be able to be that preventative measure before they get to crisis before they get to the need of peer support before you you know you have your critical intervention team whatever it is within your organization it we have a tendency the organizations provide a tremendous amount of support once you get into a bad space right alcoholism addiction but you know family violence whatever it may whatever that is whatever like there's a spot where you are way back here that if you are able to have a mentor or someone that's been able to go through these transitions and be able to work with that individual I'm not saying it's a hundred percent but I can tell you the odds are you're not going to get to need these other crisis intervention programs. And I think for the most part I think the agencies are are are trying to do that. It's it's you know what I like to be able to to bring to the entities is being an independent that's not associated with the actual organization. We there's a stigma that goes along with I could tell you when being in the Border Patrol, you know if you needed peer support okay yes it's confidential so on and so forth but you're working with someone that's in your organization. And there's this and I'm please don't get me wrong anyone that listens to this there's nothing wrong with gaining peer support. Absolutely 100% do it I just being an outside entity and of living through those experiences it's always nice to provide an additional resource that's outside of the agency that provides maybe a little bit more comfort feeling of going to someone outside. And that's kind of what I'm what I'm reaching for right now and and and providing the I'm I have my feet into and hands into the leadership portion of things um doing some group coaching and that and that those aspects but really my effort and my mission is to just work with as many people as I can to enhance themselves better a better self a better family because you can kick butt in being a good person and having one hell of a family life and still be super successful. It's there you can do it it you just have to have sometimes you may need that guidance you may need that help that coach that individual that comes in as your accountability partner and says uh uh you just you told me you wanted me to hold you to this accountability that it's like going to the gym and getting a uh um a trainer right you can do that next set of reps you're gonna do this and they you're holding them accountable to push them towards that next goal um and that's my goal it's just I really just want to be there for as many people as I can to be able to get them to live and not to sound corny but to live a good life and that's why I chose what I chose um with my with my with my business and the company it's it's obtainable and and and and I just want people to know that it it doesn't have to be a miserable existence and you it it's all about making choice.

Peer Support Trust And Coaching Stigma

SPEAKER_00 34:30

I agree with all of that you know um the peer support topic uh and you know just the same as you uh it's not to um cause any chaos or say anything negative about peer support but I also have heard a lot of negativity about peer support because it is it there is some trust issues there. And when we're talking about law enforcement let's be real I mean you go in thinking it's one big family maybe for you it might be a little bit different but at the end of the day everybody's looking out for the name on their badge and their name tag because that's just kind of the way it is in law enforcement. So when you have a peer support group it's people are very hesitant to want to do that. So coaching has been introduced and right now it's it's like trying to break through that wall and you know we call it a stigma. We call it a stigma because you're an outsider even though you're an insider you you came from from where we're at but now you're on the outside and you're telling us to do this with you and you know it might sound cheesy amount you know whatever the word is corny it sounds dumb. It does sound dumb. I get it because I've been in your shoes and if it were me hearing this I would say hey that sounds really dumb. But now that we are on the outside I think that's what makes it more passionate for us because we have a clear vision and we're able to see the things that they cannot see. We were in their shoes that we couldn't see what we are seeing now. And we want to give that to them and tell them hey like you can have a really good career you can have a happy family life you don't have to be burnt out all the time but you have to know this and let me help you find a way to do that. And I think that's the part that we're we're in the mix of right now. We're trying to get through that and what I find very interesting about coaching is exactly what you said. So we go back to the leadership topic a lot of people blame leaders it's it's the leaders the leaders the leaders it might be the leaders but guess what the leaders have to work on themselves in order to funnel you know overfill the the cup and if they're not doing that you can't make them do that. So what are you going to do? You got to work on yourself. You got to change the way you think about that leader. You got to change the way you're viewing the situation because you only have control over you and you cannot make that leader change. So if that leader comes around and says hey I want to do coaching because everybody's saying I'm a shitty leader and I don't know what I'm doing wrong well now that leader is investing in themselves not to please you but to change them as a person and it just kind of overflows a cup. So I definitely get uh where you're coming from with coaching and I think leadership would be a great coaching uh clientele for you because you experienced a really great career in a leadership position. You came from really good values that a lot of agencies don't have and I think that leaders that don't have that they aren't aware they don't know how to implement that they don't know how to look at it that way. It's more like I need you here you're my guy if you're not here you know excuse my language but it's your ass and um I don't care what you're doing right now, you better get here. And that's just not the concept that we're trying to push. We want everybody to be successful and happy because the career is great.

SPEAKER_01 37:52

So I I completely understand where you're coming from when it comes to that yeah the you know and I will go back and say I was uh a peer peer support facilitator it during my border patrol time at very very early stages to the mid stages but I always continued that that mentorship and that peer support in my own um that was part of my leadership that was part of what I wanted to do is always to be able to to try to mentor and and and be there as a you know to help that family perspective and work perspective within that I will say the United States Border Patrol has I am going to give the utmost kudos to the peer support teams in the U.S. Border Patrol they are I mean top notch it hands down some of the most amazing people you will ever meet and what they're doing they all share the same passion that you and I share when it comes to taking care of so I I I wanted to throw that out there because I don't my point to the conversation only was of being able to provide an outside resource for those individuals that don't feel comfortable going down that avenue and someone that has those experiences that can relate to where they are. So I did need to throw that out there because they are an amazing group of individuals and the the the entity itself the border patrol itself has put a tremendous amount of effort into making that top notch.

SPEAKER_00 39:25

So I've heard actually from yeah no I've actually heard from the friends that I have in Border Patrol that the peer support program through you guys is awesome. I've I've heard that and um you know they've they've told me that there's nowhere else they probably would go that it's a good enough resource for them and it works. As far as law enforcement goes it's a whole nother story that is just not something that it that's why the difference is here. This is why I feel like it's so interesting to have you here because even though we are law enforcement jointly you it's just completely different. I mean you guys have a different experience than us um your resources are different. I mean it's just a whole different experience and this is something that I feel listeners can learn from leaders can learn from people who are in law enforcement might want to have the same experience that you did and just because you were in border patrol they might be like hey there's something he's doing that I want to do in my career and maybe we can implement this in our agency. So I think it's it's great.

SPEAKER_01 40:28

Yeah and you mentioned you know going down that leadership route and I think you know the way I look at things and you know some of the individuals that I'm working with right now I I I love working with entry level agents um whether in any career that you know an LEO or first responders but that ties into leadership as far as I'm concerned and being able to it you know it's always what the individual wants right as coaches it it it has nothing to do with us. We are there totally as facilitators to get them from point A to B. What do you want you know surround that around your values surround that around the mission and how do you want to get there but for me the leadership piece you're a leader of your own of your own destiny right you that that is leadership you are leading your own where you want to go and as you build with that within within the patrol or within whatever entity you are you're going to come along and rub shoulders with all of those other individuals that you that you encounter whether it's your beginning stage of your career mid-level career a changing a career right going from one entity or organization to another whatever it may be leadership impacts you wherever you're going to be throughout your life you're always going to have that leadership piece right and I don't know I it just I get excited talking about I get excited about being part of um the new generation of going into law enforcement and hopefully enabling them and providing them the tools that they can they can utilize to be better and be a better leader if they want to be a leader. Maybe they don't maybe they just you know whatever it's but be there for that individual and help them avoid those those bumps in the roads and unexpected turns and turbulence and so on and so forth.

New Generations And Adapting Fast

SPEAKER_00 42:28

So yeah you know I've always told some of my clients that were joining law enforcement um I want to tell you the good and I'm gonna tell you the bad because nobody told me the bad and because nobody told me the bad I went my honeymoon stage for the first three years of law enforcement thinking I am in I'm just having the time of my life until the honeymoon stage is over and the reality starts to kick in and it's like you start to see all these things that nobody told you about. And then when you start questioning it or you're asking other people about it, it's now we're going to that stigma. It's like what's wrong with you? Deal with it or um you know all of us go through this we're all tired you know we're all fighting with our spouses because we work a lot I mean you know there there's just a multitude of things that add to that that we just don't talk about. So when you prepare what I would call a recruit and tell them these are the things that you eventually will face in your career. This will happen. This is coming and if you are prepared and you know how to deal with it then it's not coming because you're gonna know how to deal with it and you're gonna you're gonna effectively handle the situation differently than most of us do. Hopefully you won't be divorced. Hopefully you won't have you know any mental breakdowns. Hopefully you're not gonna look at needing to get help as a stigma. It's gonna be hey I'm doing the right thing because I want to keep my job and I want to make sure I'm good to you know serve my community and be there for my family. I To be able to get off work and say, Hey fam, let's go eat dinner or have something fun to do, you know. But I think right now we're in a very interesting spot because the generation also is very different, you know, compared to when me and you join law enforcement, it's it's completely different. We're dealing with people who are not putting up with much. And if you are not catering to what it is that they like, they're out. And we don't like that, we're not made that way. But at the same time, we have to accommodate and adjust to these changes because if we don't, the same thing is just gonna keep going and cycling in and out, in and out, and it'll never change.

SPEAKER_01 44:39

Agreed. And and I think that reminds me of when I joined and they called it the old patrol. Um, and and you know, we were the newbies, and um I remember my journeyman telling me, you know, it's not this is not the old patrol anymore. And then they're so I can only imagine what they experienced 25 years before I got there, and then they looked at us and were saying the same exact things. They were saying the same things about me 27 years ago as I'm sure the boots on the ground right now, and and the entities are saying about the the individuals that are entering into law enforcement today. It's we're not we're never gonna change that. It's right, just things keep moving no matter what. So you have to adjust, you have to figure out the whys, you have to figure out how people, you know, how they work on a daily basis, what appeals to them. And yeah, does it necessarily jive with us and the way our minds are? No, it's it's not going to because it's it's evolved, right? The things are different. We don't. I mean, heck, we had pagers. You know, you try to tell somebody they had a pager on peer support. I had a pager, right? I got paged, and you try to explain that to someone these days. A pager, what are you talking about? Something beeped on your on your belt, you know.

SPEAKER_00 46:04

Yeah, you know, somebody just paging me hello.

SPEAKER_01 46:08

Yeah, exactly. Right. Uh, and the flip phones where you had to hit, you know, A, B, C, you know, and type, you know, it just um it's keeping up with that technology, it's keeping up with the with the individuals, and you can't have a mindset that, well, you just need to do it the way we used to do it. Well, guess what? That's not the way that it's done anymore. There are some ways to do it the old school way that are very effective and efficient. Um, that some of my mentors that I have in the what I have in my toolbox from them still applies, is you just got to take it to whatever part of life that you're in and whatever you're going through and say, let me reflect on how I got through something like this previously. And sometimes it takes somebody like you or I to ask those questions. How'd you get through this 10 years ago? Have you ever had this problem? You know, that type of stuff. Oh man, you know what? I never thought about that. That I this is oh, I called this person, or you know, whatever you used, you know, to get to that next level. It's you just got to keep up with it. My my biggest challenge right now is um trying to keep up with all the gadgets and the and the programs and the AI and all of this. It's it's changes every day. And being someone that is retired now, it's even harder because you're not in that environment. Not every not every day, right? Your electronics and it it's just crazy. Um I would love to do a podcast someday, but I'm scared as hell to be able to, I don't know, maybe it I don't know what it takes, you know, but maybe it's not as it's just the idea of overcoming those types of fears. You have to take one step at a time and just make progress. Don't look in, don't look in the rear view mirror, only to maybe reflect to make you better in the future.

SPEAKER_00 47:51

So I agree. And you know, just for the listeners who I've talked about coaching before, and I've had other guests that do coaching, but you know, there are some people who are skeptical as far as taking the the strength and the thick skin out of law enforcement for these types of resources, and that is not what it is. It doesn't take away from the toughness of the job, it doesn't take away from anything really that it contributes to what law enforcement does. It doesn't do that. All it is is is making you better as a person, learning how to deal with what you're going through and really just to be better for your family, to be happier for yourself. I mean, if you don't want to be happier, I don't know how that could reflect positively in your job or your home life. I mean, I would want to be a happier person so I can go to work happier and be around my family and be happier. I remember getting off of work, I couldn't tell you how many times, probably 90% of the time. And I didn't want to deal with my family. I just wanted to be left alone. I was just like very irritable, overstimulated, over the day, you know, just busy. I just didn't want to. And nobody told me how to deal with that. Nobody told me, hey, you know, take 10 minutes for yourself and sit in your unit before you get out and reflect on what it is that you need to deal with, or you know, write it down and say, this is pissing me off today. I'm gonna write this down because I don't want to go inside mad about this and take it out on my family. Because I could just those little tiny things, it doesn't take away from the toughness of the job or from what you're doing. It doesn't make you less than a person. It's it's just making you a better person. So I think what you're doing is great. Um, I know we're running out of oh, go ahead, go ahead.

Drop The Ego And Live By Values

SPEAKER_01 49:42

I want to mention, I want to mention one thing. You you and I just started volunteering for the honor foundation, which I'm gonna start working with special oper the special forces go from leave leave their careers. So this is our special forces, and then they're gonna be going into um civilian world, and I'm reading more about special forces and the navy seals and the green berets, and and and what you just said reminds me of dropping your ego, and they I'm learning more about the special operators and right type A personalities. You get the mission done no matter what it takes, right? Um, there's a book, Extreme Ownership, okay. You they there's parts on that that say drop your ego, check your ego at the door. You know, if it's it's the mission, and your mission is your family and yourself and what to get to whatever goal, put your ego at the door, there's and have a talk. Do what we were just talking about, you know. If these special operators can do it in order to do, you know, this is the highest level trained, skilled individuals that that are out there. If they can check their ego, we can check our ego. We all are, you know, we have that hardcore, we're the type A, but you know what? Check your ego. No one needs to know you're checking your ego, check it on the side and have your own little thing, but do it, you know, and that's what it's about. It it just reminded me uh uh of that and some of the research that I'm doing, and certainly played in what I had to share that with you.

SPEAKER_00 51:20

So, you know, that's actually really good because I feel that people who are in law enforcement who look at this as a way of, oh, that's weak, or we don't need that, you know, this is that's you need to be an alpha male or an alpha female. Uh you don't need that kind of stuff. Those people are the ones that maybe should train with those special ops and go out there and see how tough you are. Let's see how tough you are. And then that special ops can go home and say, guess what? I'm happy because I checked my ego at the door. And I know that you're going home with less than an ego because you probably couldn't do what I could do, but I'm not gonna sit here and dwell on that. I'm gonna say, Hey, it was a day you gave it a try. Good job. Now I'm going home and I'm gonna spend time with my family. That's a really good reality check. I mean, almost feel like that would be a great show.

SPEAKER_01 52:11

Yeah, exactly. Right? There's nothing wrong with being humble, right? And and it it it you're human, we're all human, we all make mistakes, and owning up to mistakes are is is part of it, and and and taking responsibility for that stuff, it's all part of it. And taking responsibility for yourself, your family, your career, you know, and just kicking at kicking butt all the time is there's nothing wrong with that. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

SPEAKER_00 52:39

I agree.

SPEAKER_01 52:41

I think as soon as you can get to that that point, uh however take however whatever road or path you have to take to get there, um it's it's tangible.

How To Reach Greg And Final Advice

SPEAKER_01 52:53

It certainly is.

SPEAKER_00 52:54

So if the listeners want to be able to work with you um or get a hold of you, make contact with you, what is a good way that they can reach out?

SPEAKER_01 53:04

Well, the two platforms that I have right now um are I have my own website, which is living the goodlife coach.com. And that has my services. Uh, it even I don't have all of my services on there, but you can there's an about page, or you can contact me through that, which is uh Greg FerniLifcoaching at gmail.com. So really that platform allows you to be able to access and contact me in in a number of different ways. Um, my LinkedIn page is is also contact or connected to that, or you can find me in LinkedIn. Um, just Greg, if you just uh search Greg Ferny, you'll find uh you'll find me on LinkedIn as well. Um I am like I said, working on those platforms and those social media platforms and trying to stay up to date. And um I'll say that's one of my goals. And I'm I'm getting people to help me with that. So good. It's uh disdainable time. Well, that's the best way I could be contacted.

SPEAKER_00 54:05

There is uh always something that I want my guests to leave the listeners with. So if there is one piece of advice that you could leave with the listeners today, what would it be?

SPEAKER_01 54:16

Establish a clear set of values for yourself and stay true to your values. And I believe I'm a firm believer in if you have a set of values, whatever it may be for yourself, and you build around that, it's going to guide you in the right direction. And and and you know, and I obviously I'm a big believer in self first and family first, you know, whatever that family may be. But um those are a couple things that I would leave the the listeners with is if you have a good set of values and you can align yourself with those values on your decision making daily and just ask yourself a few questions, you know, am I who am I with that aligns with that? Where am I going? What am I doing? Your job, whatever it takes. Sounds corny, but it it's a good base. It's a good foundation. And whatever that may be, I'm I'm confident that that will get you to where you want to go.

SPEAKER_00 55:14

Awesome. Well, thank you, Greg, for all of your insights, for sharing your side of Border Patrol and law enforcement. It was very different to hear, but somewhat the same. I I mean, I love hearing about other areas of law enforcement that I didn't work in because it really just puts things into perspective on why resources are important, you know, that other law enforcement agencies that are not, you know, working the same as us are experiencing some of the same troubles that we are. And what are they doing about it? How is it helping them? What are their leaders doing? I mean, all of these things matter. And I'm sure that the listeners are going to get a lot of value out of that. Um, I do suggest you guys checking out his webpage. And if you are interested in setting up a coaching session, email him, reach out to him. He seems like he has a lot of years under his belt and a lot of good guidance that he can provide you. So, Greg, thank you again for joining me today. It's been a pleasure. And for the listeners, I thank you for supporting Chapter Blue. Uh, as always, be safe and I will see you on the next one. Thank you for joining me on Chapter Blue. If you enjoyed today's episode, be sure to follow and tag me on social media and share with your friends and fellow officers. If you're interested in joining an episode, I'd love for you to be a part of the conversation. Until next time, stay safe, take care of yourself, and remember you're never alone in this journey.